


Pick Me Up

by blinkifyawantme



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, But let's try it, Chapters are really short but i'll update a lot, Fluff, Fluff With Happy Ending, I promise it's good, M/M, More Tags Yay, Pickup Lines, So damn fluffy, Sorta an office fic, That's all for tags ig, Thor is the biggest doof, Tony and Steve both work at SI, We don't do smut in this household, We stan an embarassed Tony, Workplace AU, did I say fluff already, oneshot book, please read it, really cheesy, slow burn?, tagging is too hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkifyawantme/pseuds/blinkifyawantme
Summary: Tony realized he was staring at the man and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Did it hurt?”Or:I realized I had so many cheesy pickup lines and I decided to make them into a fic starring Stony. Enjoy!





	1. Did It Hurt When You Fell From The Vending Machine? Cause You're a Snack.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 is here! Yay! I'm happy with it, enjoy! This is chaptered btw, one pickup line a chapter!

Tony walked into work, holding a coffee in one hand and a pile of papers in the other. He sipped the coffee and headed towards his office, stopping when he saw the most gorgeous man ever. Who the hell is he, Tony thought, and how have I not seen him before? Tony ran over to the man, grabbing his shoulder and turning around him around to face him. He had words to say, but as soon as he looked into the man’s eyes, they all faded away. Tony realized he was staring at the man and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Did it hurt?”

“What?” the man asked, scrunching up his nose, clearly confused. 

Tony sighed. Of course, his mouth has decided to say a pickup line. Of course, his mouth would decide to embarrass him in front of this person. Damn mouth. “When you fell from the vending machine,” Tony muttered. “Because you’re a snack.”

This time, the man rolled his eyes, but a faint blush crept up his cheekbones. He smiled slightly at Tony and walked away, leaving Tony hanging. Silently, Tony cursed his mouth and brain, for dying and then coming back to life to say the stupidest shit possible. He turned around and sighed again, and attempted to go to work. Blue-green eyes haunted his thoughts all day.


	2. If I Rearranged The Alphabet, I’d Put U and I Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s chapter 2! I’m happy with how this turned out yay! side-note, i’m starting an angsty stony oneshot post endgame, so feel free to check that out! i’ll def post the next chapter for this tmr, so be on the lookout! thanks for reading!

After a long day of work, Tony headed home and ate dinner. Throughout the day, thoughts of the man had filled his head, distracting him from his work. He’d asked JARVIS to look him up, and found out that his name was Steve and that he worked as a consultant and was here doing his job for the next month. How Tony hadn’t met him yet, he had no idea. But, he was determined to meet him again and not mess it up. Tony went to bed, dreaming dreams of first dates and easy happiness.

Tony woke up and headed off to work, grabbing a coffee before he arrived. He meandered about the building, looking for Steve, but couldn’t find him anywhere. Disappointed, he went into his office and started work. After hours of working, Tony was done™ and just wanted to go home. He grabbed his stuff and started walking out, deciding to walk by HR in hopes he could maybe see Steve. That would make this day somewhat better, he thought. Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of blond hair and started sprinting towards it, slowing down to a walk at the last second so that it wouldn’t seem like he had just run to meet him. “Steve!” he said, tapping the man’s shoulder. “It’s me, the guy from yesterday!” 

The man turned around and Tony realized that it wasn’t Steve. He opened his mouth to apologize, but the other man cut him off. 

“Ah, yes, he told me about you!” the man boomed. “Alas, I am not Steve, I am Thor, but I can take you to Steve if you wish it of me!”

First off, why does this guy speak like he’s Shakespearean, Tony wondered inside his head. Also, what had Steve said about him?

“Can you take me to him?” Tony paused and asked in a quieter voice, “What did he say about me?”

“Nothing important, just that a stupid and smol man tried to talk to him yesterday.” Tony’s face fell and Thor laughed. “I am just jesting,” he said, clapping Tony on the shoulder and causing him to stumble. He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “He said that a smol, funny, man tried to speak to him yesterday and used a very bad pickup line.”

Tony smiled. Steve thought he was hot! He didn’t think he was stupid! Tony felt the happiest he had been in ages. 

“Alas,” Thor said, pointing to Steve. “We are here. I bid you farewell.” 

“Thank you Thor,” Tony said, trying to regain some semblance of cool and suaveness. Tony walked over to Steve and tapped him on the shoulder. “I’m Tony, the guy from yesterday,” he said as Steve turned around. All of the big plans to introduce himself went out the window as Tony looked into Steve’s blue-green eyes. “And if I were rearranging the alphabet, I’d put U an I together!” he blurted out. Dammit, dammit, dammit! Tony’s face turned a million shades of red, and all Steve did was look cool, calm, and collected. “I’m walking away now.” Tony said, trying to save himself the embarrassment of having to see Steve look confused and not at all interested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading guys! Feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks! They really butter my egg roll!


	3. Are You Tennessee? Because You're the Only Ten I See.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup fam! Sorry for the late update, I was just lowkey busy today, but here it is! I really like how this chapter turned out, so enjoy! Thanks for reading! Love y'all!

Third times the charm, Tony thought as he walked into work. Today, he would be able to behave like a normal person in front of Steve. Today, he would have a sane conversation with him. I’ve seen him twice already, Tony reasoned. I’ve desensitized to how gorgeous he is. Those blue-green eyes, and stunning shoulder-to-waist ration, and huge biceps, and nice ass would no longer have an effect on him! And yet just the thought of them made him into a flustered mess. He sighed and headed into his office. Odds were, third time wasn’t going to be the charm. 

Tony grabbed his cheeseburger from its bag and started munching on it, still trying to work. A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts, and he motioned for whoever it was to come in, slightly pissed that they had interrupted his lunch. 

“Tony?” Steve asked, peeping his head in. 

Tony’s face brightened almost immediately. He’d been in the company of Steve for 5 seconds now, and hadn’t blurted out anything random. Maybe they could have a normal conversation. “Yeah, come on in!”

“Is that a cheeseburger?” Steve asked longingly. “I just haven’t had one in so long, ugh, it looks so good.”

Tony sensed an opportunity here. He’d just have to speak a coherent sentence, and then he could possibly take Steve out to lunch. “We can, uh, go get you one if you want? Just tell me whatever you had to tell me on the way there.” 

Steve smiled and Tony did a little happy dance on the inside. He had spoken a coherent sentence to Steve! “Oh my god, thank you so much,” Steve said. “You have no idea how much I need this.”

“Trust me,” Tony said with a small smirk. “It’s not a problem. 

An hour later, Steve had a cheeseburger and Tony had realized that this man was not only a hot Dorito, but also one of the kindest and most wholesome people he had ever met. 

“Shit, we gotta get back to work, don’t we.” Steve said sadly, looking at his watch. 

“Yeah, we do.” Tony said, equally as sad. “This was fun though, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” Steve said sincerely, with a smile that melted Tony’s heart and made his brain stop functioning. 

“Are you Tennessee?” Tony blurted out. “Because you're the only ten I see.” And there went his streak of having a normal conversation with Steve. It was clearly not meant to be. 

But, Steve just laughed and smiled at Tony, easing some of his embarrassment. And what he wouldn’t do to hear that laugh, low and melodic, a sound that instantly put him at ease and made him feel at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks, they really butter my bread!


	4. Tie Your Shoes; I Don’t Want You To Fall For Anyone Else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wassup fam! Here’s chapter 4! Super happy with it, so enjoy! Thanks for reading! Love y’all!

It was done. Tony was 100% whipped for Steve, and there was nothing that could be done to change it. He wanted a legitimate relationship with Steve, and he wanted to voice how he felt, but seeing how he could barely have a normal conversation with him without turning into a flustered mess, the odds were slim to none that that would happen. Also, there was the added benefit of having no idea how Steve felt! He’s nice to me, Tony thought, but that doesn’t mean anything. He heaved a deep sigh and walked into work. 

“Ugh!” Tony said, running a hand through his hair. Work was not going his way today. He closed his eyes and slumped down lower in his chair. A knock sounded at the door and he slumped down even farther. “Not right now!” he said frustratedly. 

“Oh... ok.” said a dejected voice. Tony peeped out through he fingers and realized it was Steve. Shit, he thought. “Never mind, actually! Come on in.”

Steve walked in through the door and saw the state Tony was in. “You okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. What’d you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh,” Steve started, flushing a little. “I just wanted to ask if you, um, wanted to go to lunch again. But if now’s not a good time, um, I can go.”

Tony hopped out of his chair and said, “Yes! Lunch sounds great! Yeah, that’d be perfect!” That sounded way too enthusiastic, didn’t it, Tony thought. Screw it though, I am excited!

The two walked out of the office together and headed to one of Tony’s favorite sushi bars. They ate lunch, and Tony started to like Steve more and more. The better he got to know him, the more his little quirks and traits began to come out. The way the right side of his mouth came up before his left when he smiled, and the way his eyes would light up whenever he talked about his family, or the way his entire body shook when he laughed. All these little things only endeared him more to Tony. Lunch was done to soon, and they walked back to the office side by side. All Tony could think was that he really wanted to hold Steve’s hand. Like really, really wanted to. So, he swallowed a deep breath and slid his hand into Steve’s. Steve laced his fingers through Tony’s, and Tony smiled. Steve continued talking, and they walked like that the entire way back to the office. 

They reached the office and stopped outside the doors, facing each other. Tony sighed, sad that he had to leave this happy little bubble with Steve. “I had a lot of fun today.” he said. 

“Me too,” Steve said, smiling his lopsided smile. A million emotions crossed his face in the span of a few seconds. He tilted his head in question, shook his head, and then tilted his head again. 

“Steve, whatever you need to say, feel free to say it.” Tony said, wondering what had Steve so confused. 

Steve nodded and leaned in towards Tony, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. He pulled back and looked at Tony, who had gone into shock. And so, words started spewing out of Tony’s mouth. “Make sure you tie your shoes; I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” He blushed, embarrassed that it had happened again. Steve didn’t seem to care though. He just winked at Tony and said, “That won’t be necessary.” Steve sauntered back into the building, leaving Tony staring after him, in shock that Steve seemed to like him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks; they butter my muffin!


	5. I Lost My Number; Can I Have Yours?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry I wasn't able to update yesterday- I was just really busy with my family, so there wasn't much time to write :(. But, I should be able to post twice today, so keep an eye out for Chapter 7! Thanks for reading; love y'all!

After Tony had overcome his shock, he’d headed back into work, floating on waves of happiness. Steve seemed to like him, and that thought alone kept him energized and happy throughout the day. After work he’d headed home and slept well and through the night for the first time in a while. 

When he walked into work the next morning, Steve was waiting in front of his office with a brown bag. “I brought bagels!” he said with a big smile, waking towards Tony and giving him a hug. 

Oh, Tony thought to himself as Steve folded him into his arms, this feels nice. He buried his head in Steve’s chest and then pulled back after a few seconds. Steve slowly unwrapped his arms from around him and opened the door to Tony’s office for them. “Ok,” he said, opening up the bag and putting its contents on Tony’s desk. “I’ve got plain, plain with cream cheese, plain with veggie cream cheese, cinnamon raisin, and blueberry. What do you want?”

You, Tony thought to himself.

Steve raised an eyebrow. Shit, Tony thought, I said that out loud, didn’t I? “Sorry,” he apologized. “I did not mean to say that out loud.” I’m a goddamn mess, aren’t I?

“I don’t mind,” Steve said with a small smile. “It’s nice to know you feel the same way.”

Tony blushed and smiled and tried desperately to find something to say that wouldn’t make him sound lame or stupid or desperate. “Merry Christmas?” he said, and the blush of his grew wider. “Nope, nope, not what I meant to say. I mean, you like me? That’s great because um, I like you too. But you, um, probably already knew that and um, I should stop talking now.”

“Y’know,” Steve said, not blinking an eye at Tony’s little meltdown/rant. “You may just be the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” He leaned across the desk and pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “For real this time though, what do you want for breakfast?”

Tony chose the cinnamon raisin and blueberry bagels and they ate breakfast together. Too soon, Steve had to leave and go get work done. Tony walked Steve to the door, and was thanked with a big hug. This time, Tony allowed himself a bit more time in the other man’s embrace. Steve pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s head, and moved to leave, but Tony grabbed at his arm, realizing he didn’t yet have Steve’s number. He looked up at the other man and said, “I lost my phone number; can I have yours?”

Steve smiled and wrote it down on a piece of paper for Tony. “I really do have to go,” he apologized, looking sad. “I’ll be back for lunch though, don’t worry!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks- they really butter my burrito!


	6. Are You an Egg? Because the Moment I See You, My Smile Goes Sunny Side Up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so so sorry for not posting yesterday. i was just super duper busy and by the tome i got to writing it just wasn’t working and then when i got it to a decent place, it was too late. that being said, i’m proud of this chapter, so enjoy! love y’all!

Steve knocked on the door and Tony got up from his chair to greet him. “Ready for lunch?” he asked, giving him a quick hug.

“Yeah,” Steve said sliding out of Tony’s hug and lacing his hand through Tony’s. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Honestly,” Tony said, “I want a cheeseburger.”

The two went for lunch, and Tony couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off of his face for he rest of the day. As soon as he got home, he called Steve up. He flopped on the bed and put the phone on his chest, listening to Steve talk while he baked cookies. Apparently, Steve had wanted to be a chef, but it just hadn’t worked out, so he went to business school and became a consultant. It became very clear to Tony that Steve wanted nothing more than to leave the business world behind and go be a chef, and Tony vowed to work his hardest to do that. Eventually, he fell asleep to the sound of Steve’s voice. 

He woke up in the middle of the night, panting and in a cold sweat. He’d dreamt of drowning again. Looking at the clock, he realized it was 2:37 in the morning, not even close to when he should be getting up. There was no chance of him falling back asleep, though. He sat in bed for half an hour, then got up to make coffee and started working on stuff for work. He glanced at his phone, wanting to call Steve, but also knowing that it was hella rude of him to call when Steve 100% wasn’t up. Screw it, Tony thought. He called Steve, and waited to see if he would pick up. 

“Tony?” Steve asked confusedly. “Why’re you up so early?”

“I can’t sleep.” Tony simply stated. “I wanted to hear your voice. I’m sorry I woke you up though, I’ll hang up now. Go back to sleep, kay?”

“No, no, Tony, why can’t you sleep? Are you okay?” Any traces of tiredness vanished from Steve’s voice. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just nightmares, nothing big,” Tony said, trying to downplay it and not frighten Steve.

“Tony, I can tell you’re trying to downplay it. I’m up already anyway, so don’t tell me to get back to sleep. Do you want me to come over?”

Tony smiled, surprised at how much Steve seemed to care. Honestly, he really did want Steve to come over. “Yeah, actually,” he said. “That’d be great.” 

Tony gave him the directions, and ten minutes later, Steve was there. He immediately pulled Tony into a hug and walked him over to the couch. Steve lied down, resting his head on a pillow, and motioned for Tony to rest his head in his chest. “Tell me about this nightmare of yours.” Steve said, gently running his fingers through Tony’s hair, almost absentmindedly. 

“Well, I sort of have PTSD.” Tony said. “I was kidnapped once, and when I was there, the kidnappers would constantly water board me. So, I have nightmares about drowning. It’s fine though, I have it under control now.”

“M’sorry,” Steve said. He pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s head. “That’s awful.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, “it is.”

The pair sat like that for a while, and Tony eventually drifted off to sleep. He woke up to the sound of a frying pan, and many blankets tucked over him. 

“I’m making breakfast,” Steve said. He left whatever was being cooked unattended and walked over to say good morning to Tony. Tony blinked in surprise, touched by how much Steve seemed to be willing to do for him. It had been a long, long time since someone had cared enough to cook him breakfast. Steve’s kiss to Tony’s cheek didn’t help his mental state, so once again he blurted out random shit. 

“Are you an egg?” Tony asked. “Because the moment I see you, my smile turns sunny-side up!

Steve laughed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t think I’m an age, but I did make some!”

Tony ate the eggs and the two walked to work together. Tony couldn’t think of a time when he had been happier, and he hadn’t even gone out with Steve! The stupid grin he always seemed to wear around Steve made its way onto his face. He was so hopelessly infatuated with this man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comments, kudos and bookmarks, they really butter my bagel!


	7. Are You Trash? Because If So, I’m Morally Obligated To Pick You Up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So here’s Chapter 7!! I hope y’all enjoy i’m pretty proud of it!! i don’t think i’m going to be able to post until Sunday or Monday though, I’m sorry. My troupe is putting on our play today and tomorrow, so I won’t be able to post. i’ll try to post sunday though!

It was 11 AM when Tony realized that he was somehow already head-over-heels in love with Steve. It had taken him, what, 6 days? Any time he thought of Steve he smiled, and he’d found himself measuring tome in how long it would be until he saw Steve instead of minutes. When they weren’t together, all Tony found himself capable of thinking about was Steve. And the fact that he had come over last night, no questions asked? That was the tipping point. So yeah, it was pretty clear that he was in love with him. And honestly? The thought didn’t scare him. When he was around Steve, he felt like he was home- comfortable and free and happy. Tony resolved to ask Steve out today at lunch, on a real date, with a nice dinner, not just some causal hangout, something that would clearly show that Tiny was interested in Steve. Tony started to plan it out, and before he knew it, half an hour had gone by, and no work had been done. Trying in vain to pull his thoughts away from Steve, Tony glanced at the screen in front of him and tried to get to work. 

Fifteen minutes later, the door opened, and a smiling Steve walked in. “Hey!” he said, smiling at Tony like just the sight of him made his day better. 

Tony got up and hugged Steve. Now’s a good time, Tony thought, right? He contemplated it for a hot second, then decided that it was now or never. He pulled back from Steve and looked him in the eyes. Here goes hoping, he thought. “Steve, I’ve come to care a lot about you in the past few days.” Tony paused, and forgot all the words he had planned to say. He winged it. “Steve,” he began again. He faltered. Words, please come he thought. “Words need to be coming out of my mouth right now, I swear I had stuff planned to say, I had a whole big plan, and it’s just not happening, I’m sorry, I’m so bad at this.” Well, shit, Tony thought. That couldn’t have possibly gone any worse. 

Steve simply smiled and said, “Would you say you are trash at speaking?”

Shocked, Tony said, “Yeah, but-“

Steve interrupted him. “As someone who cares about the environment a lot, I’m morally obligated to pick you up. 7 tonight, I’ll pick you up at your place?” 

Damn, Tony thought. He felt himself fall even more in love with Steve. “Hell yeah!” he replied, leaning in and wrapping his arms around Steve. “Hell yeah,” he said again, quieter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks! they really butter my crackers!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos, they really butter my biscuit! Also, next chapter should be up today!


End file.
